Petroushka\’s Miscellany



Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Americans, And More

This according to the 2007 Census:

  • Americans are getting taller: only 10% of people in their 20s are under 5’6, compared to 24% of people in their 70s. (Or perhaps this means that Americans are shrinking?)
  • Americans are still the fattest people on the planet. They watch 64 days of television a year, produce 4.4 pounds of solid waste a day, and are reproducing faster than ever before (except for brief and unaccountable spikes in 1960 and 1990).
  • Americans are killing their crustaceans at an unparallelled rate: 62 clams, 24 snails and 19 crustaceans are on the US endangered species list; elsewhere in the world, only 2 clams and 1 snail are in danger of extinction. Save the snails!
  • 75% of American college freshman say their goal in life is to be “very well off financially” . . . or, in other words, very very rich.
  • It appears they’ve been inspired by the success of their fellow Americans: in 2001, there were 572,000 millionaires in California (and 3,000 in Vermont, where people don’t need money—they have maple syrup).
  • In 2005, people in 1.4 million homes across America said something smelled so bad they wanted to move. Perhaps to California?
  • Also in 2005, US airports confiscated 9.4 million lighters, proving either that there is an unprecedented number of would-be shoe bombers flying around America, or that Americans cannot follow simple instructions.

For more fun facts about Americans, check out the New York Times census summary (hurry quickly, before it is transmogrified into a must-pay-through-the-nose-to-read-it archive).

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